This Post Brought to You By the Home Depot

You've probably been wondering what it will take to get me out of my blogging funk. Honestly, I've been wondering too. And quite frankly, a lot of totally great, exciting, blog-worthy things have been happening the last 6 weeks. So what has touched my heart and mind enough to inspire me to actually put pen to paper, as it were? This is what I will say: In my life, I have stood atop some of the tallest structures built by man. I have toured the underbelly of Hoover Dam. I have seen the mechanical workings of a giant green lazer that shoots into all levels of the atmosphere. But never in my life have I been so overcome by the genius of man's mechanical workings as I was last night when using, and consequently studying, a relatively common household item. I am referring, of course, to the wall anchor: What could I say about this amazing device that has not already been said by men and women far more eloquent than I? To think that millenia of scientific advancement has led humanity to this simple, yet profound invention that just......works. Truly, we stand on the shoulders of giants. I am speechless.

I remember my first ever exposure to wall anchors. The year was 2007. The city was New York, where so many paradigm-shaking discoveries like this are made. Although, like most things, I didn't actually appreciate the wonder of the wall anchor until I used it for myself the first time. Wall anchors were first explained to me by Luke Stay (who, PS, is smart at everything). He used them to attach a mirror to a cinderblock wall in my bedroom. Once I realized the project was a bigger ordeal than I expected I told him to forget it and I'd find a different wall for the mirror, but it was too late-- he was trying to impress a girl (my roommate) so he was determined to successfully complete what he had started. In addition to using the wall anchors, he also explained the concept to me. I'll admit that while I understood the mechanics, I didn't fully comprehend the reasons it was needed.


Now, as a homeowner, I am starting to get it. See the lovely closet I installed all by myself several weeks ago, even using a drill for the first time ever:

Well, I knew I should have used anchors, but I didn't have any, so I didn't. I knew it wouldn't stay on for five years, but I thought it would stay on for a while. But, nope, not so much. It fell off once ten things were put on it.

So, back to the drawing board, by which I mean Home Depot. Having never purchased anchors before, I was surprised by the vast quanitity of options available. But, in my experience, a busty blonde girl normally doesn't want for help at the Home Depot so I figured I would find some nice young man to assist me with my selection. But, such was not the case yesterday, so I used my other assets (by which I mean my wits) to solve the problem. I chose my anchors (the red, plastic kind-- I hope that was right!) and headed back to work.

My hammer was missing, but I managed to get the job done with the drill and a can of tomato sauce. For some inexplicable reason, the top left anchor didn't take, so I had to pull the bottom anchor out (no easy feat!), move the holes over three inches and start again. (Luckily, the design of the closet allowed for wiggle room on the location of the poles) My intense admiration of the wall anchor began when I had to try to remove the anchor from the screw in the bottom hole. It. Was. A-MAZing. The way the plastic and steel just sort of merged towards the bottom of the screw. The way the plastic expanded, fanning out to secure a stable base. The impossibility of getting it out once it had been set. I mean, a razor blade and some elbow grease finally got the job done, but it was no easy task.

Yes, my mind has been blown. Enough so to inspire me to blog again. And now that the floodgates have been opened, hopefully I'll have some more to share with you before too long.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings. I'm just really impressed by the wall anchor.