You Gotta Want It

I have other more important, life-information posts that I need to write, but this is on my mind very strongly today, so I want to share these thoughts now.

This morning (not that I was surfing the internet at work), I came across a series entitled "Best Holiday Gift Freak Outs." I'd recommend it to anyone. This was my favorite (WARNING: there is swearing involved)



While I consider myself a more than unusually happy, joyful and enthusiastic person, the level of excitement shown in these video clips surpassed anything I can remember experiencing. But I think I would like it! Thinking about it made me realize: perhaps there is joy in really wanting something. Is there anything I want this much? What on earth could make me this excited? I mean, I'm not sure I'd have that sort of reaction when/if St. Peter lets me in the pearly gates.

I wonder if part of being this excited is getting something with no strings attached. For example, I'm sure that I will be super duper uber excited when I get married, but there's some nervousness involved too because marriage (as wonderful as it is) is scary and a big risk too. Would that stop me from being this excited?

I also think of the line from "Pride and Prejudice" where the sister says she wishes there were another such man so her sister could be as happy as she is. And Elizabeth replies that even if there were a hundred such men, she couldn't be as happy because "until I have your goodness, I can never have your happiness." It seems like the most of the really joyful things in life are spiritual in nature and it takes a good amount of spirituality to appreciate them. I know for sure that the Spirit does intensify feelings of joy, excitement, and gratitutude. (Not that this applies to the Play Station example above, but it's still an interesting thought.)

I also wonder-- is part of the joy and excitement of getting something you want the fact that it's unexpected? Maybe I don't get so excited about things because I usually just expect that things will work out for me so I'm not surprised when they do. But I like to think that I don't take things for granted when they do work out. And I think I'm still grateful and happy when they do.

Also, I think there's not really a lot of things that I want. I don't have anything on my birthday or Christmas list. After some pressure from my mom on this point, it did occur to me that I'd like a CD player. (That's right I do not own a CD player, or even a computer. I'm sort of backwards that way.)

But maybe I should say there aren't a lot of material things that I want because there are lots of other things I do want. I want to get my house looking all cute and organized. I want to go jogging before work every day. I want to put in the time, effort, and energy to look cute every day. I want the people around me to feel loved and valued. I want God's light to shine through me. I want to be a source for good in the world. I want to have adventures and experience new things. I want to be surrounded by things that are beautiful.

The interesting thing about all of the above is the only thing stopping me from having each of them is myself. It's my own laziness that prevents me from doing and having anything I want. So I think I want these things, but so often I short-sightedly think I want to sit in bed and do nothing more. I am the only thing preventing me from having them.

I wonder, is there something (material or not) that I want as much as that man wanted his Play Station? I hope so! I hope I want eternal life that much. I hope I want to build the Kingdom that much. I hope I want to have joy in my life that much. And if I want them that much, what is keeping me from them? I heard a speaker at church recently who said the only currency we have with God is our desires-- if we desire righteousness, if we desire to serve him, etc. There is nothing else we can really give him. And if our desires are strong enough we will act in such a way to get the things we desire. Are my desires strong enough to motivate me to go and get the things I want? Is that keeping me from having all the joy I could?

I wonder also, how much that man would have gone through to get himself a Play Station. Surely he could have gotten an extra job or budgeted his money in such a way that he could have gotten one for himself. Was he so excited because someone loved him enough to get it for him? Would it have meant more or less to him if he had worked for it and gotten it for himself? I have a hard time accepting things from other people-- maybe I am depriving myself of joy in that way?

Whatever the reason, I want to have more full-hearted excitement and gratitude like this man did. I will put myself on a personal quest to find my own personal play station 3 and to have that level of joy in my life.

It does occur to me thought, if I lost my iPhone and was without it for a few days, I would probably be this happy when I get it back. So there is hope that this sort of emotion could be elicted in me. =)